MY KITCHEN ON FIRE!!!!

In the past, I used to sneer at two things that I regarded as myths concerning toasters. The first one was that your toaster can actually start a fire by burning the bread inside of it, the second was that you can be electrocuted by poking inside your toaster with metal objects. Today, I was disabused of the former. My toaster literarily burnt my two slices of bread down to a pile of coal. The picture illustrates what my kitchen looked like (my roommate is also in the picture, ca. 2m away from me). These slices were frozen (I do keep bread in my freezer from time to time), thank God I didn't toast dry white bread, I might have burnt in my apartment. But those slices still were good, I just had to scrape of the black part. So, I today I learned some important things: Bread can burn and toasters are deadly weapons.
But I still don't believe that electrocution fairy tale, that's bs.

Happy Easter!

Yeah, Easter! With Lent having passed, I started into a very cosmopolitan and relaxed Easter holiday with . The game aspect, previously established with help of the Zvenalizer, dominated my holidays. Some friends of my roommate'sand me were playing Civilization 4 and Drinking World Cup at the same time. Actually, my roommate Bernd started Civ 4 and I took over his game (Romans) when he went to take a leak, but I managed to get him from the 5th to the 1st position. That's leadership skills. Needless to say, I also won the drinking thing (although that might have been a tie, I don't remember, but my team, that consisted of Japan, Trinidad, Italy, Mexico and Saudi-Arabia, sure was a favorite from the get-go). At some point the two games, that we up to this point strictly separated from each other, started to interject, and that's where the fun started. We traded technologies for beer (or gave them away randomly to anyone who answered our audience requests), and the game found its abrupt end when people started to declare war on Fritter (one of my roommates) without engaging in diplomatic talks.

The rest of my vacation went on pretty smooth, I stayed with my family (my uncle, aunt and cousins with wife came from Poland) and went egg hunting.
I've sent a Hallmark e-card to all people reading this blog (this might be the first time, that something like this goes down, so later you can say, that you've been among the very first....), to view the greetings just click here. I picked the card, because the music can only be described as 'funky' (in fact, it can be described as a lot of things, you know).

Poker on the back of the Last Supper

In the paschal atmosphere of these days, my main man Zven and me stuck to the traditional custom of playing a card and/or board game on the back of a famous piece of art. This year we chose No-Limit Texas Hold Em on the back of the Last Supper. Classic fun!

Taking drastic measures

It was only a matter of time for bots to discover my blog. But now they've found it, so I've turned on word verification. Now leaving comments for you might be a hassle, and since I get at least 50-52 comments for each entry, this will cost you lots of time, but it's gonna put the "fun" back into "Doctor Funky's Blogbook". That deserves an emoticon. Here: ;-O
Ok, back to business now....

Football's coming home...

I was flabbergasted when I heard that the NY based soccer club MetroStars was bought by the popular Austrian soft drink manufacturer Red Bull last month, renaming the team into New York Red Bulls. So not only might the Red Bulls become the most successful Austrian team, they even have the chance to rebuild the Arnold Schwarzenegger Stadium somewhere in New Jersey.... It'll be back! (Btw, that guy in the picture really is Youri Djorkaeff)

Edit Wednesday, April 12. 2006: Are you serious????

The Holland situation

I don't know what it is, but one thing about Germany (or most likely it's about Holland) is, that there a constant competition between these countries in every aspect imaginable (they even fight about who can set up the biggest amount of dominos in one place). Completely ridiculous. Shouldn't they rather pick countries their own size? Like Germany should start picking on Nigeria and Holland on Uruguay for instance. But then again there might be a nonexcusable lack of tradition...
So, here's what's up. "The Dutch" somehow managed to set up an internet world record, 25 million people visited a Dutch website within a month. This contumelious obloquy cannot go unavenged, so some freaks set up a site to break the Dutch record.
That being sad, I might add that this is another internet hoax, which makes me believe that the whole internet is fake. I mean, the internet consists entirely of fake sites or fake boobs. I see a pattern emerging....
BTW, I got this information from a friend of a friend of a friend (no really, from Robyassin's girlfriend) via a chain letter mail. Please people, keep sending me lots and lots of chain letters, especially if they concern my personal health!! N.B.: Chain letters prove to be a very untrustworthy source of information. Ask this guy:

Carnival addendum

I've been writing a lot about the German carnival, and instead of writing everybody different versions of what this primordial German festivity is all about, I'm gonna post it here. That's what this blog is for, anyways.

Carnival is a pretty big thing in Germany, at least in some parts, it does combine two things that this country is famous for (needless to say, these are stereotypes): uniformed parades and drinking till your eyes fall out. Traditionally, this event is celebrated in the West and Southwest. The oldest carnival however comes from Braunschweig (Brunswick) and dates back to 1297 or something - so it's only 201 year short of a thousand-year-old tradition (read it up here), so we're talking history here. To a German, this is not surprising, as Braunschweig is said to be one of the (if not the) most traditional city in ze Deutschland (a proposal to rename the city into Traditionweig was rejected in parliament in 1958). As a consequence, people here celebrate it like it is going out of style, whereas the rest of Northern Germany plies its quotidien proverbial trades. But enough of boring history.
What you basically do is get drunk from 10am (sharp!) on until, yeah well, sometime, but pretty much the next day. Whilst drinking you have to stand and watch the parade roll by. Via chanting (later yelling) rehearsed phrases at the passing vehicles, you have to animate the costumed people on the wagons to throw candy and other stuff in your general direction. Then you have to quickly kick any competition out of your way (especially children) that also try to pick up the stuff that the guy meant to throw at you (insiders' tip: try waiting at a bratwurst stand to experience how candy and other toys are hurled into boiling oil). My highlights this year: a rubber ball, a chocolate cake, and a Bob the Builder toy cell phone.
After the parade, the drinking is continued in bars across the city, or in the snugly atmosphere of your own or a friend's place....
Yeah, getting drunk in costumes and all is fun, everyone of you should try. Plus our costumes came in handy for the upcoming St.Patrick's Day...